This post is for all the shy hoopers of the world. For 99% or more of you, I suspect none of this information will apply. But I know you exist. I see you shrug and take a deep sighing breath when it’s time for the HoopJam in class. I see you make a bee-line for the bathroom when it’s your turn to go into the HoopJam circle. Some of you have come straight out to inform me right away, “I will not be participating in the HoopJam today,” and you leave early.

As much as it is my wish for everyone to be comfortable with the performance aspects of hooping, I do not blame you one bit. Even I get a jaunt of the nerves when it comes around to my time in the circle. This doesn’t sway me to remove the HoopJam from our class though, since most of the participants genuinely enjoy (or at least end up enjoying) and look forward to this part of our class. I respect your choice not to go into our HoopJam but would like to share with you some tips and exercises I have used to overcome my shyness, during a HoopJam and during a performance. But first, a story…

Starring my least favorite monster, Shyness

My boyfriend plays in the band Uncle Larry and often times invites me and other hoopers to hoop to a few songs during his set. Even though it doesn’t pay much (free entry and drinks), we always gladly accept and have a wonderful time sharing some of the attention.

This past summer, I was dressed up and ready to hoop for one of his shows. I sported my pink Uncle Larry tee that has a red ant on it as well as mix-matched striped socks, form fitting short shorts and my favorite hot pink boot covers. His band was the next one up and I primed myself with ice cold water, even though the beer looked frostily delightful.

To bide the time we had left before going on, I snuck around the front of the stage to listen to the band that was currently playing. They sounded great from back stage and I wanted to watch. That’s when it happened.

Armed with long hair, guitar and mic, the lead singer pointed at me and taunted,

“Hey you with the hoop! Come up here and show us what you got! I know you’re set to hoop with Uncle Larry but why don’t you give us a sneak peak into what we’re in for? Won’t ya?! Come on!” The audience stared.

Half of me was ready to take his lead and do it but then I looked out at all the eyeballs watching to see what I would do and I suddenly became keenly aware of how short my shorts were and how pink and fluffy my boot covers were. Fear and insecurity injected their poison into my brain and instantly paralyzed me. Instead of embodying the magical punk rock hooper I intended to portray, I felt like I suddenly mutated into a hooker-weirdo with a hoop. I shook my head and ran backstage.

After wards, the antagonist found me and apologized for putting me on the spot. I told him it was alright and explained to him that a bout of shyness came around and I was sorry I couldn’t find it in me to take his gracious opportunity to shine. The next thing he said left me with mixed feelings.

“You’re not shy. How can you be dressed like that and be shy? There is no such thing as a shy hooper.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “There’s no such think as a shy hooper.” This statement makes me feel sad or mad or a little of the both when I hear it. The fact of the matter is:

I am a hooper.

…and…

At times, I am an incredibly shy hooper.

Then how, you might be asking, can you be a shy individual yet still manage to perform and teach in front of strangers all the time? Part of the answer to that question is because I have to. No, no one is putting a gun to my head and making me do this, but because this is something I really want to do; I want to allow myself to shine and I want to assist others find the same joy and thrill I do with the hoop and so it comes down to the lesser of two evils:

Let the shyness take you away from fulfilling your dreams?

…or…

Get over it and give it what you got!

If you haven’t guessed it, I felt that the latter of the two options was the lesser of the evils.

Here are the two ways I bit the lesser evil in the butt.

Taking on a persona

I teach the HoopGirl Workout curriculum. During my teacher training, Christabel told the class something prolific to my recovery from shyness. She said, “Fake it till you make it.” ~ simple as that.

In the beginning, I pretended that I was Christabel herself. Instead of being the five foot petite shy pepper with the mouth of a sailor, I pretended to be the tall, tan, sexy portal of universal-loving energy that I portray Christabel to be. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with who I am. At times, I just need the energetic support of a person I admire to help me teach and perform with confidence. Even though I was essentially “faking” this confidence, it eventually blossomed into a real one. So much so that, little by little, I was able to rely on my own inner guidance and found myself calling on her energy less and less as this confidence grew.

If you find yourself at the edge of a HoopJam circle or stage with less that what you think it will take, jump into someone else’s skin. It can be anyone you love and admire, alive or dead, real or fictional. Some sectors of the Christian faith call upon Jesus with the question, “What would Jesus do?” So, you can fill in the blank with the same, “What would so-and-so do?” and then do it. Keep this up and one day the shyness will be a long lost memory of the way you used to be.

Learn to love thyself

Another exercise that has helped me is to practice in front of a mirror and/or video tape myself, with and without the hoop. I learned this from my rock star boyfriend. Often times, I catch him practicing his smile, his poses and his music, in front of a mirror. I can’t help but giggle when I witness this but it has proven to be very effective with his stage presence. He is great on stage and a wonderful subject to a camera, always taking the best pictures and it’s all due to his charms and dedicated practice in front of a mirror.

Here’s a fun activity to get you started:

Take some time to yourself and close/lock the door of your bedroom, apartment or personal space. Feel safe and harbored knowing that no one is watching but you.

Put on your favorite music, breath and release any fears, worries and all nonsense from your thoughts.

Get in front of that mirror and adorn yourself with your favorite jewelry, costume/outfit and makeup (if you are a make-up person). In the process of doing this, find a million pieces of yourself to fall in love with. If any bad thought enters your mind, rid of it immediately. They are not allowed.

Experiment with smiles and analyze your facial expressions when taking on certain emotions. Be playful with yourself. Laugh at your silliness. Acknowledge the purposes of each of your body parts and give thanks for their servitude. This all sounds incredibly cheesy but just give it a shot. No one has to know.

Once you’re dressed and ready to go, push furniture aside and stuff things into the corner to clear a space to hoop. Watch yourself dance and breathe with grace and intent. Acknowledge your unique beauty/handsomeness that you have been blessed with. Highlight the wonderful aspects of your dance and gently smooth out the parts that can use some work.

The hardest part of this exercise for me is when I get to my belly, a characteristic that all the diets and exercise never completely melted away. So, I stare at this thing until I love it, with all my heart and with all my might. I admire my dear pot belly that wants to exist with me. I cherish this dear belly until I find it to be the sexiest thing about my physical being. It never deserved anything less.

I found a huge improvement in my body image take place after just doing this exercise one time. That, in turn, softened the edges of my shyness as well. When I find my confidence reserves diminishing, I try to make the time with myself to do this exercise. Unfortunately, time sometimes isn’t available to me and in this instance, I do a “quickie” by adding a little glitter in my lotion and as I moisturize, I give thanks and gratitude to all the parts I glitter. Do whatever it takes to feel beautiful and don’t go out that door until you do.

A body is a vessel and I don’t mean for liquid courage

Lastly, I have found that proper rest, diet and nutrition all serve as intricate components to having a sound mind, sound spirit and a sound body which all are major in steering clear from the “shyness monster”. I’m a huge advocate of vitamin B12. You can find this at your local health food store. Of course, I would recommend consulting your doctor before running out and buying the stuff but the benefits of Vitamin B12 are well documented. This very important nutrient helps support higher energy levels, emotional stability, mental clarity and more. This yellow vitamin must be taken with food or you will find yourself with a belly ache and, F.Y.I, so you don’t freak out, it makes you pee fluorescent (which I think is an added bonus). I like to have this vitamin with a banana and then I enjoy a warm cup of Tension Tamer (my favorite herbal tea) by Celestial Seasonings, which has a bit of the vitamin B’s in it as well as other fun natural flavors to sip, such as catnip and tilia flowers (whatever that is).

A life free of the the spell that shyness casts is just another benefit added to the majestic mountain of positive things that hooping has brought into my life. I’m not saying I am completely cured. I still have heart palpitations every time I’m about to perform, but these little tips have helped me allow myself to shine. I hope they help you as well!

Share with me below what you do to combat the Shyness monster.